I had this big dream...a dream that I never thought of before...it’s something that I never picture as one of the things that I really wanted in my life...I really want it so much, very badly...really hope that this dream will come true someday...hmm...
I was so inspired, so motivated, so encouraged by this dream...this dream was also like a guidance to me...for better me and my future...so funny right? What’s sort of dream is this? haha...it made me want to be better, aim for success and happy ending...
This dream showered me with happiness...feel like I was blessed to have this dream...eventually it became huge and conquer other dreams of mine...I would be the best for this dream, I would not let anyone tear it away...I would always pray and wish that it will truly happen one day...
As time goes by...a lot of things happened...facing and dealing with those things made me realize something...from there I have learned many important lessons...one of them was to let go of this dream, tear it apart and bleed my heart out...
It’s really painful...but at the same time it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made...sounds peculiar right? I know it was the right decision because I never regret about it...but it would be a lie if I tell you that I was ok with it...of course not...
For quite some times I have learned what is the meaning of being miserable and hypocrite, patient and persist, upset and frustrated, calm and strong, and many other valuable things...more important how to accept it whole-heartedly...and bring out the best in me without that dream...
But unfortunately, in that fragile state, I have made a big flaw...I really, really regret that I did it...but I took it positively...it actually made me knowing myself more...taught me how to behave in that kind of situation and not to do it in future...
Last but not least...I believe that this one big dream is one of the paths that I need to go through in my life, it is one of the beautiful flowers that I have encountered along the journey...a beautiful flower that I really wish I could adore, embrace and nurture for the rest of my life actually...But that’s not going to happen...not going to be true...because I have left that flower there and carry on with my journey, finding another road of happy ending...
In the end...I realize that I cannot just merely wish and dream about anything...don’t just go for it and get it...for that, I have now made myself clear about what I really need, what I really want, what I will get, what I will go through for having such a dream...so that my other dreams that I have in my hand will not remain as memory like this one...a memory that I really wish it will be vanished and gone forever...
Biarlah hanya impian ini sahaja yang tinggal kenangan...walaupun kadang-kadang terfikir, perlukah diri ini berpatah balik dan mendapatkan kembali bunga impian itu...hmm...lebih baik serahkan saja kepada Allah kerana Dia Maha Mengetahui juga Penentu segalanya...hanya mampu redha dan pasrah atas apa yang berlaku...bak satu stanza dalam Ombak Rindu,
'Redha itu ikhlas, Pasrah itu menyerah'...
'Redha itu ikhlas, Pasrah itu menyerah'...
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